I really thought I was gay.? It all happened when i was browsing through the internet and stumbled to a ts link pic and then began looking at video's of tranny porn. It seem to arouse me more than female porn. I would start off watching teen porn then mature and then next thing you know im on the tranny porn. This began to be more and more frequent. I dont know if it was because the drugs I was on that made me more horny or not. Well anyways 3-4 years has passed and I have also cut down some what on my drug use after getting fired from my career job.
Since 2005 I had formed a habit where I would be high and by the end of the night forcing myself to sleep I would masturbate to shemale porn. I used to kill myself with guilt and even thought of suicide because I thought I might be really gay.
I developed anxiety after a while and began to isolate from the world. Times when I would go out to party or just hang with my friend I would catch myself uncontrolled staring at my friends crotch. This was freaking me out. I started taking Xanax to help my anxiety but after awhile that didnt work anymore. It just made it worse...so I stopped the xanax finally.
My family and friends would ask if I was gay. I would always say no cause I was;nt really for sure. So my friends assumed that I was just gay and that I was oblivious about it not aware yet.
Since I was in rehab for my drug addiction I took the time to come out and told my conselor that I'm gay and I get high n ****** up to jerk off to shemale porn. She asked if I ever experimented with a ts. I replied no but I will now. So I did...I was turned off by a few because they didnt look that feminine or wasnt as hot like the internet one's. I finally talked myself into doing this after a gram of coke and some xanax. I finally did it and now even worst shape than before. It took me sometime to gather myself and relfect on what I had done.
Well that almost a year has past and that I accumulated 3 ts' encounters. Being off and on drugs through the years... I'm still not 100% sure.
Now in 2009 I still continue to use drugs. But now for some reason I dont get really turned on by shemale porn. . All the feelings I had has or I think disappeared. I try to force them back by using more drugs but its just not the same. I dont enjoy the shemale porn as much anymore.
My anxiety has gone and even the uncontrollable crotch glancing has stopped. I feel some what normal again. I dont have a problem talking to people anymore or hiding my face under my sunglasses.
I can even take gay jokes and throw it back at them with out a problem.
For some reason I dont feel gay.. What the hell is wrong with me. I am in my late late 20's...
is this common or is the gay **** finally taking a break.. I hope it dosent come back. |
I don't think you're gay or even bi. People can look at any kind of porn and feel aroused without actually wanting to have sex with the kind of people in the porn. People usually know if they are gay/bi by the time they are out of high school (I knew when I was 14 that I was a lesbian). Some are older and married before they figure it out, but they usually come out because there's an individual of the same sex that they KNOW they're attracted to. Being gay/bi is about both love and sex. Do you want to find love with a man? If not, you're straight. It's that simple. Anxiety makes you feel all kinds of ****.
I'm no shrink, put I think you have "Pure O" or purely obsessional obsessive-compulsive disorder. I have it too. Google it and get help! Especially for the drugs. |
Help?!?!?!?!? See, me and my best freind had a sleep over last night. In the middle of the night I wake up and she is jerking me!! I didnt say anything because it felt good. Then I opeed my eyes and asked what are you doing? She said "I know you like it, Dont resist". So she continued and then we started kissing and then we started to have anal sex (I am a shemale)and then regular sex. She said anytime ill do this if you like it. I really enjoyed it and I think I like her. But i already have a Gf. Should I tell her anytime, brake up with my Gf, or should we all date eachother? Help! |
| Enjoy each other as much as you can...and if that includes your current GF so much the better. |
I want a girl to like me? i think this chick lieks me already, what ways am i certain to know if she likes me.
people call her a shemale (i guess she uses ltos of make up) so should i say to her that the other people are jerks and shes not a shemale and that shes pretty. |
Whoa there. If she brings up the topic about ppl calling her a shemale, then, you can respond in that way. But ONLY if she brings it up. You can't bring it up yourself, even if she's mentioned it to you before.
And don't say pretty. That sounds fake. Tell her... pshh. that's ridiculous, you're obviously gorgeous. She'll be delighted to hear you say that, and it won't sound so much like you're coming on to her.
Also, maybe try complimenting her on her makeup one day if she does it in a different way than usual. |
Am i gay??????? ok i get hard when i see an erect penis.I am a boy.I am 16.I dont get hard when i see a flacid one however, or when i see a guy with no top on.Lately however i have been looking at shemale porn and their hard penises got me hard, and i jerked off to them.I nearly got sick afterward.I always have crushes on girls though?and also i have been masturbating to female porn for two years.Could i be gay or bi?I could never realy see myself with a man though? |
| Gay and in denial. Dont worry something about being gay starts as feeling a little taboo and gradual at first. But it all gets better from there. |